Being Alone

Greetings,
Another piece for your consideration.

Alone
Alone in a room full of people
Feeling alone even when you fight the feeling with every ounce of energy you have
What would happen if one succumbs to the feeling of being alone
The void opens and is a dark gaping hole before you
To let go and fall, would that be giving up?
Would it be cowardice?
What would be the point anyway, my Goddess tells me I would have to learn the lessons all over again in the next life
Who would want to go through this again?
Alone, all alone

Sorry to be so depressing, but I needed to get this off my chest.
Dark Blessings to you all.

Wow. Beautiful piece, in particular for what it explores: giving in to the fear of loneliness.

It's a great meditation. Thank you, Witchartist.

Hi,
Sorry again to be so depressing, but that's what severe depression does, at least in my case... I have to write about it or paint, otherwise I'll really go over theedge. I know the source (after 7 years of therapy) of the low self-esteem and depression. I was serevely bullied in junior high and high school...mentally more than physically, but the pain and scars are just as deep. There are moments and situations that trigger the memories, even after 35 years, and the pain is tremendous. I am trying not to whine about it because I know others experienced the same thing. I won't go into details, too painful. I should be able to recognize the situation and forestall the reaction, but I was caught off guard and it hit me like an out of control train. Again, I apologize for causing trouble. All of you here are too dear to me to put you through such stuff. Take care and have a grand day. The sun is shining here and I get to play my bagpipes today.
Dark and Sweet Blessings!

Your not causing any trouble!!! I hope that you will never feel that train coming crashing again, but if it ever does you just think SCREW'EM!

You have us now! Maybe we should have'a "school memories" thread to talk about this kind of stuff , but I don't know if that would hurt more than it would help. I would want it to help. We'll see. Just remember to try not to give "them" any satifaction in thinking they were better than you. It'sa waste of not only your time but life. I think those of us that went through such things should live to be a support to the children that are going through these things now. And you as a teacher are in a grand position. It does take some care and thought though so as not to make matters worse, but as for today you....

Have a Great and Wonderful Day Witchartist! ... play your pipes with happy song!

Cynfullov's right about being strong and finding happiness in spite of what others have done to any one of us. It's what we deserve as human beings... and there's no sweeter revenge.

Witchartist: You're stronger as a person for knowing yourself so well, not weaker for sometimes feeling depressed.

Vampira has a good point too; focus on the positive when you can, and let it be a source of strength.

I know I say this a lot, but I'm glad we can talk like this and lean on each other.

My dearest Bruce that was quite, quite beautiful and I identified with every word of it.

I was bullied at school and have known difficult times since then but everything comes full circle and I hope it wont be long before you're feeling happier and more serene again. I hope that the service goes well and dont forget what I said

By the way I agree with the idea of writing down how you feel - even if you do it to a friend or just for yourself and tear the note up afterwards it's very therapeutic

What a beautiful piece Bruce! I could strongly relate to it. I too was bullied, starting from jr high all the way to my senior year. It is very painful to go through and no matter how old you are, you'll never forget it. Mental torture, in my opinion, is the worst. It can be very damaging to one's mind. You may feel alone, but you're not. As long as there's someone else out there that feel your pain, you're never alone. You're a great person and you'll get through it, maybe not today or tomorrow, but I know you will because you're a very strong person. Feel better

Greetings,

First of all, thank you for your support and kindness. When I wrote the piece about being alone I was feeling more depressed than I have for a long time. I thought I had the tools necessary to deal with any memory or situation that would come up (seven years of therapy should count for something!), but Friday night’s experiences just threw me. I had to write about it in a place where I felt safe and among people who might understand. I didn’t mean to use anyone as a therapist or ask for help people wouldn’t be able to or want to give. I was in such a bad place, the worst, I just needed to let the feelings out somehow.

I am not sure about starting a thread about school experiences. On the one hand I agree with Cyn and RedAngel and think, by sharing what we all experienced we can draw support from each other. I also agree with Vampira about leaving the past in the past. Goddess knows Vampira, you have helped me so much and I love you dearly for it, but I wouldn’t ever ask you to be my therapist. HelenD, thank you for being so sweet and my heart and love go out to you because of your experiences and how you have shown me such kindness and support. We have something in common, I wish it would be something other than bullying, but life has a way of arranging things in its own way. Angel...I'm sorry you had to go through the same kinds of things, we should've had to experience what we did.

One thing I have learned in my counselor’s training, a little information can be dangerous. One can be caring and a very loving person, willing and able to listen, but it takes special training to understand a person’s problems and emotional issues from a therapy point of view. I’m not saying a thread of our experiences wouldn’t work. I just would want to be very careful. Having said that, I have complete confidence in all our moderators and in people’s ability to be respectful. That’s one reason why I felt I could write what I did in the first place.

I do feel better today…thank you all for being so sweet and kind, the best! I hope I haven't offended anyone or left anyone feeling confused. I wanted to respond to all of your posts quickly and in doing so may have not expressed myself in the best way. So please bear with me. I love you all very much.

witchartist wrote:

Goddess knows Vampira, you have helped me so much and I love you dearly for it, but I wouldn’t ever ask you to be my therapist.

I appreciate it WA but I wouldnt be able to help as much as I would like to since I have no formal training. I am currently looking at some universities for a part-time course on counselling and even thinking about doing some volunteering work at some places around here - anything to start me on the right path. Once I know alot more I would love to be your therapist, I was put on this earth to help people and make people laugh, have fun, enjoy life while putting them first.

witchartist wrote:

One thing I have learned in my counselor’s training, a little information can be dangerous. One can be caring and a very loving person, willing and able to listen, but it takes special training to understand a person’s problems and emotional issues from a therapy point of view. I’m not saying a thread of our experiences wouldn’t work. I just would want to be very careful. Having said that, I have complete confidence in all our moderators and in people’s ability to be respectful. That’s one reason why I felt I could write what I did in the first place.

Exactly!

Vampira132 wrote:

witchartist wrote:

Goddess knows Vampira, you have helped me so much and I love you dearly for it, but I wouldn’t ever ask you to be my therapist.

I appreciate it WA but I wouldnt be able to help as much as I would like to since I have no formal training. I am currently looking at some universities for a part-time course on counselling and even thinking about doing some volunteering work at some places around here - anything to start me on the right path. Once I know alot more I would love to be your therapist, I was put on this earth to help people and make people laugh, have fun, enjoy life while putting them first.

witchartist wrote:

One thing I have learned in my counselor’s training, a little information can be dangerous. One can be caring and a very loving person, willing and able to listen, but it takes special training to understand a person’s problems and emotional issues from a therapy point of view. I’m not saying a thread of our experiences wouldn’t work. I just would want to be very careful. Having said that, I have complete confidence in all our moderators and in people’s ability to be respectful. That’s one reason why I felt I could write what I did in the first place.

Exactly!

Vampira...
Thank you for your comments and continued support. I have a feeling that you will make a wonderful and excellent counselor. You have the necessary skills already...you can listen and you care being chief among them. As far as being MY counselor, hmmmmm...might be kinda scary for you! LOL Anyway, you help me more than you can possibly know. Thank you again XXXOOO