I'm Conflicted

I have a friend who I am attracted to; he has even told me that he has a "fledgling" romantic interest in me. I really like him but I don't want to get into a relationship since my last one was so intense and I swore to myself never again. All at the same time I want to let him find out for himself that we are not compatable (despite our commonalities), but I fear that he may not ever see it. I don't know what to do or say. The only thing I can hope for is that one date should show him that he doesn't want to have me as a potential partner.

Romance often blooms out of an unsuspecting friendship. Let it go where it will.

I hate to say it ginger but I hope it seriously blows up in your face and you both have a great time and enjoy your self and that your doubts that it will never work are wrong..

Just go with the flow dear. Things will fall into place on their own. Just go out and enjoy yourself. If he does really like you, let him take you out and let things go from there. As Mor said, usually with friendship, romance blossoms.

ravengrim wrote:

Go out somewhere together Ginger.Just go out and see what happens.
If you two are already friends then it shouldn't be all akward and strange.The only way you'll ever know if something will work out is if you give it a shot.Life is way too short to wonder what if...........

I totally agree with that advice. Just see how things go - maybe you will just remain friends or maybe it will go that step further. Good luck Ginger and above all else HAVE FUN GIRL

Vampira132 wrote:

Maybe drop hints here and there, maybe he will catch on in time. Enjoy the friendship you have together - thats where all the best relationships start off!

Eeeee... Men are terrible with hints in most cases. The only thing that has ever worked for me, either when breaking up or getting together, is telling them straight up.

Go, have fun... relax. If it happens, it happens. If not? Nothing lost. Only something learned.

LOL! I have very many lovely male friends but hints are wasted on them! I think chaps appreciate the direct approach

I speak on behalf of most guys I know, we don't usually get 'hints'.

^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^ I give hints.

Most hints I see come across are subtle and most guys don't ever catch them.

Gah, I think I am...dare I say...in love with him. Despite what he did to me, I can not stay mad at him and want to give him the benefit of the doubt. God, I'm a fool.

Dangerous ground, because what you feel for a person as a friend, even with romantic feelings for them, is not how you treat or expect to be treated by a lover. Just as unexpected relationships grow from friendships, so do friendship get ruined by moving them into a romantic relationships.

I've ruined a 10+ year friendship by getting romantically involved. So of course I'm leaning towards the "don't do it" course of action.

Well, I don't think we are ever going to get romantic since he refuses to even talk to me (not sure why). To say that I am pissed off at him would be an understatement (I will probably kill him the next time I see him).

^Ah... Amour...

If you want to strangle him...

Yep.

AW.

No, I actually want to kill him. I want to brutally murder him. I want to spill his blood.

Ah, L'Amour...

Try one of these tactics~!

He's the kind of guy that if you screamed at him once he leaves you alone forever. When I raged on him for not giving me the information on where and when to meet up on Halloween, he called it trivial for me to get pissed off from it (trivial my a$$, I don't have friends like he does that I can go out with on a regular basis and he knows it). Even though I apologized because it only appeared that I didn't the information because my internet kept dropping, he ignored my emails. This goddamn wanker is not worth my time.

I hear you on that one Ginger. You had every right to get angry, I mean when meeting up with someone, you have to give all the details. No one wants to waste a lot of time looking for someone.

Akasha'sMistake wrote:

Eeeee... Men are terrible with hints in most cases.

I SUCK when it comes to hints I get from women, only because I don't want to get the wrong impression.

I'm against hints, in fact I'd go so far as to say; "f*ck hints altogether". I think if you want something...make it apparent. We don't hint to the waiter we'd like some dinner, we don't hint to the guy that cut us off on the highway that we're pissed; then why hint at love or lust? Go out and get it. I refuse to take hints, I want the whole story thank you, not just a clue.

I never give hints because I know men don't get them.