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Dear Journal,
Just transcended time and space... and it was pretty friggin awesome.
It was like my body was in a coma while my soul escaped into this whole other dimension thing. What I saw there is simply undescribeable, not just because it was so amazing beyond true comprehension but because words do not exist for things that should not exist at least based on our world's laws of physics.
Dude, it was totally like freeing your mind man.

Sincerely,
The Guy On The Couch

Dear Journal,
Just woke up.
It's 1:57 PM on Sunday, February 08, 2009.
It feels extremely weird.
At first I was a bit disoriented as I sometimes am after immediately waking up...
But this time it's different.
It could be in part due to my last dream... yknow, the kind you have just as your mind is waking up and seconds/minutes before your entire body wakes up and you open your eyes.
I only remember bits and pieces (the last part of it) and it was like a combination of my childhood at Perry... and last week's episode of Smallville - maybe less of a dream and more of a combination of memories.

At first I thought today was Monday; it feels like a Monday.
But now...
I just don't know.
It feels weird.
The light is weird, different.
There's overcast... I think that's what it's called.
A layer of light grey clouds in the sky.... blanketing it completely yet... not too thick.
Like... normal partial cloudy days have larger/fluffier individual clouds versus this infinite-extending single layer.
It's 68 degrees Fahrenheit according to my computer's The Weather Channel Desktop application. My apartment is probably a little less than than (closer to 60) as I turned on my air conditioning unit for the second time.
Perhaps that's why it feels so different... the look of the outside, the knowledge its cool yet slightly cooler here...
Maybe...
But that still only feels like a part of it...

What I'm experiencing now may be a form of deja vu.
I was looking outside moments ago, moving my ghetto curtain-sheet out of the way to let the dark filtered sunlight in through the window.

There I realized that it feels like living at home again... pre-teenage Alex, living with his parents back when they were still in their 50s...
Local news channel 4 (KFOR) was on the television in the dining room as mom was fixing supper/dinner. Dad was either in the living room watching the news on that television or not home from work. It feels like between 5 PM and 7 PM; if mom was fixing dinner then it'd be closer to five and dad may not be home from work (Natural Resources Conservation Service) especially if he was out of town for assignment... if it was closer to 6-7 PM then mom would probably be doing/finishing dishes and dad would be in his chair watching the news then they'd both watch Wheel of Fortune immediately after.
I remember watching it with them some times...
Other times I'd watch my own shows in the "entertainment room"...
Occasionally I'd be outside in the front or backyard...
Soft green Spring grass...
Using my imagination as I never really had friends over... think my parents were too old to be able to handle two youths more often than not. Week nights/school nights were obviously a rare occasion to have friends over anyways.

So weird...
It feels like it did in those days...
10+ years later...
And not even the right time of day...
I wonder if something is/will be wrong...
If this is some form of "foreshadowing".
In any case, I hope I can remember my family/my childhood this clearly.
My past wasn't always the best but there were some moments just so incredible, innocent, sweet, fun, serene.... I never want to forget them, especially not my parents and everything they've been and done for me.

Dear Journal,
So last night I ended up leaving work 40 minutes early (which is okay since I cleared it with the boss before she left) so I could go meet up with my half-brother and hopefully get a 50 sack of peoplenip.
Unfortunately that last half fell through but I did get to hang out with my bro and a couple of his friends - smoking it up, listening to music, and just chilling.

Man, I was baked out of my mind.
Started out with a huge blunt then used the Bong.
First time to use a Bong in about four years.
Forgot how intense that experience is verses blunts and pipes.
One hit off that thing and... man, I can't describe what I saw.
But I'll try.

It was like looking beyond what everyone sees on a day to day basis.
Like I could see normally but then there was like colours and shapes just there.
Like I was here yet not here at the same time.
Like... looking into the fourth dimension even though our brains cannot comprehend it let alone absorb it.
Dude, I could barely move. I could hear words but, the majority of the time, everyone else's conversation was like the adults talking in Charlie Brown "wa wa wa wa wa wa". Occasionally I could pick out bits and pieces of the English language but it was mostly "wa" or... sound blurring together. The only thing I could understand was my own thoughts, thank Goddess... I'd be freaking out if my thoughts went into jibberish too.
Not to mention there were points in which I could see sound with my eyes. Hearing with my eyes.
It took everything I got to stand up when my bro practically kicked me out since he was about to go to sleep around 2:30 AM. So I was standing there for like... well the concept of time ceased to exist so could be anywhere from five minutes to fifteen minutes...
Was able to move. He gave me a couple nugs and somehow I made it to the elevator to the first floor and to my car.
Breathed.
Got grounded to where I thought I could drive.
Drove.
And prayed.

I felt jittery the entire time.
Was certain I'd get pulled over for swerving though I always stayed in my own lane.
Never went above the speed limit but kept alternating between 40 and 35.
Listened to a few songs off my CD but... music quickly became a dangerous distraction when I needed to focus.
Thought every car behind me was a cop so kept telling myself "It's okay, just focus, not too fast, stay between the lines, you're doing good."
Freaked out a few times because I had no idea where I was even though subconsciously I knew I was at the right place going the right direction.
Made it all the way to my part of the metropolis... maybe two miles from home... when I saw a car do a turn-about from the other lane and I was like "oh sh*t, that's actually a cop".
Immediately took the first right I could, then ducked into a neighborhood that I thought would exit to a street close to where I lived as long as it went on... only to be disappointed when it looped back towards the street I exited from.
Made it to 7-11, bought my munchies, continued on home safely as I had lost the cop easily enough - man, had I gotten pulled over I would have been f**ked... besides my attitude, my eyes were bloodshot.
But it was cool.
Don't remember everything I did last night after getting home... think I watched something, maybe did something in Final Fantasy XI, and pigged out on an energy drink and junkfood...

Ah peoplenip...
So great.
And I know, a lot of people would probably judge me or whatever...
But I don't care.
It was an adventure, and I had fun...
And no, I don't normally drive while under the influence of anything... but since it was literally FREEZING outside... had to get home.
Probably should have taken a cab in hindsight...
Meh.

Good times.
Young & stupid.


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I got another gram of gold in the mail today.
Shipping on this one was a bit slower than my first bar.
Keeping an eye on eBay for a cheaper bar to make my third but...
It's surprisingly popular lately.
I think the price of gold must have went up this past week or so.
Perhaps in response to Obama's thing? Or whatever stimulus bill passed?
I don't know... really should keep up with the actual details of those things...

Then my comics also arrived.
It's great being a nerd.
Web of Spider-Man #6-15.
It's weird because I'll never read these.
Issues from 1986 in Near Mint (9.4) condition.
Another 10+ years and I'm sure they'll be worth much more than what I paid for.
Definitely an investment tool I can use when I'm older.
But what I find the most entertaining is the artwork.
Comics these days are on a different form of paper which changes the image a bit, but the artwork itself looks completely different than it did pre-2000s.
Always been a big Spider-Man fan anyways... so even if they aren't worth as much as that issue #1 of Amazing Spider-Man... it's still something of interest to me so it's not like a "loss".

Then bought "Star Wars: The Force Unleashed" for the Xbox 360 used off ebay for like $25.40 or so. Played the demo a few days ago and was hooked. Trying to find a copy of "Sonic The Hedgehog" and "Ultimate Alliance" for the Xbox 360 also but... I have a lower "set" max price I'd spend on either of them. Think I can get Ultimate Alliance (preferably without the Forza 2 bundled in) cheap enough at GameStop... Sonic The Hedgehog will just take time.
There's also a new Sega Collection (or maybe Sonic Collection with a ton of Sega games) that was released either yesterday, today, or tomorrow (within this past week at least) that looks really awesome... but I dunno if I want to dish out the $35ish for it or hold off until more used/cheaper copies are released.
Some days you just can't be classic 8-32 bit gaming.

Shame though...
So many materialistic pleasures and so little money to spend.
Have to make choices, sacrifices, and budget...
Hate being middle-class...
Ah well, guess I may as well enjoy the lack of responsibilities while I can because it'll be even harder to manage money as I get older.


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Dear Journal,
Thinkin about joining the Army again.
Or at least trying again.
Been walking on a daily basis.
Lost a bit of weight -
The main thing keeping me from enlisting.
I think more people would like me.
The uniform is hawt as hell...
And damn do I look good in forest camo.
Muscles would help.
Mmm hell, I'd do me if I wasn't me.
But I'm not a big fan of obedience.
Guess I could just do ROTC and not enlist...
That'd be a douche move...
But if I went ROTC I could enlist as an officer...
Hmmm... choices...
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