What age...

Mine was 11-20.

As my dad is a Classic Rocker with an added metalhead inside him, it was him who really broke me out of my shell. For ignoring it for years and years at 10 - listening to bands like A1, Cartoons, Aqua etc. etc. with some classic rock bands on my list with a lil bit of Metallica thrown in.

As I grew older to head towards High School towards the end of the school year I was starting to become a rebel, and start to care less about what I was doing there and concentrating more on finding out who I was. As you can imagine High School must of been pretty bad for most of us, I know it was for me because I was getting bullied and having to result to self-harm to relive the pressures of school.

But ever since I've left that Hell of the Damned I've not looked back and feel quite happy that I've made it on my own to find work and a boyfriend even though it has been a bumpy ride to get here, it has made me alot stronger as a person.

Be having settled in my alternative self it won’t ever leave me. I've had people come up to me and say oh this is just a phase and it will pass. Well guess what after 8 years of being my own individual I haven’t grown out of anything, im only growing stronger.

pretty much always knew I was diffrent in one way or another... I've always liked bats, cemeteries, dragons, knives/swords ect. Learned to ride a bike at 5-6 (might not be to odd but everyone in my area either had big wheels or powerwheels at that time so a real bike was something diffrent) got a skateboard at 8 and started to take the bike off jumps, down stairs by 10... found metal at 12 (which was diffrent than everything else I've heard up till then) and never turned back.

I was 5 years old (around there) when I would watch horror movies with my brother.
Of course we all heard about how much of a metal head he is from me so I won't bore you all again with it
I would listen to Queen, Kiss, Motley Crue, Def Leppard, Metallica.......all because of my big brother. Sitting on the coffee table while he was watching one of his metal VHS and I'd be pretending to play the drums and headbang along to the song.
But in highschool it kinda started to come out more. My love of horror movies was obvious all over my school books. And being called a freak, witch, and 'looking like I was related to Marylin
Manson' (still a bit confused about this one ) kinda made me realize I was different.
Eventually the tattoos came and the louder music came and all the black came.
I mean...I guess I'm normal. But in my close group of friends...I am far from normal.
I've posted this pic already.
Me and my best friend. I've always been the 'darker' one.
I would listen to the rock and metal and they would listen to pop and r&b and stuff....
I've always been into the horror, thriller, supernatural genre of books and she read the mysteries and romance.
ANYWAYS.......

I was always a tomboy, off catching bugs, building forts, etc. I had a horrible fashion sense. I didn't really discover goth until I was in my Junior year of high school. It was kind of inspired by friends but I think I really found a niche where I'm comfortable.

Well, looking back, I guess all the "weirdo" ingredients were there. I was raised by my mom & grandparents after Mom left her alcoholic abusive husband (my father). We weren't financially well-off, and Mom has had her share of issues that stressed us as a family, but we got by. Kids at school, as far back as I can remember, used to put me down, call me weird or quiet.

For a while I just wanted to disappear, especially in junior high when the taunting got really severe. I wound up having big anxiety problems. I tried so hard to blend -- trying to look like the other kids. I even got a perm to look like the other girls -- disaster; my hair fell out in clumps!! (Might explain my hair obsession now...)

In high school, I did my best to leave all that behind me. I became more of an individual, and I was finally proud of not being like the others. But in college I really developed as a person: I was able to see the bright and dark aspects of my life and myself, and be happy with the balance of both. My love of angels, *and* Manson? Sure. My affinity for deserted places, bare trees, jewel-tone velvets and black corsets? They're just as much a part of me as my brighter side.

I sometimes worry that I'm not goth enough to post here, but I know that's silly.
I am who I am.

I've been different since I can remember. I was watching some baby tapes awhile back and at 4 I was into bands like Metallica, Queen and Black Sabbath. When I was 7, members of my family found my thoughts "disturbing" and kept trying to get my parents to take me to a shrink. From 11-14, tried to be "normal" because at that point I was tired of being picked on. I was told as a kid that "black girls don't act this way or listen to heavy metal." At 15, realized that pom poms and the whole mainstream world weren't for me. It was then when I first dyed my hair blue, and got all of my metal cds out of the attic. I still can't believe I abandoned Metallica like that

I really didn't know I was goth until I was talking to my best friend about some of the things running through my head. He told me that I was definately goth and that he'd teach me everything I needed to know about the scene. I've been the same ever since. Mom was hoping it was a phase, but as she see's now, it's who I am and it's here to stay.

I think I was born "alternative" - I was raised on Hammer films by my Dad who is, like me, really interested in the Occult. My Dad was also a Teddy Boy so I got my first pair of red and black brothel creepers when I was about 10 and did I ever love those shoes! I was raised on a mixture of classical music and early "rockabilly"

I was hugely influenced by a girl at school who was about 4 years older than me and gothic but who came from the same village so we used to talk an awful lot and from there I've just evolved into who I am

I like being a goat and not running with the herd, I would hate to be a sheep

Can't fight who you are. Better to love it and live it.

I was a tomboy growing up. I wore big, baggy clothes & Vans skate shoes up until the 7th grade, then kinda traded my tomboy look for a more girly look. However, I was always fascinated by the "darker" things; Halloween, horror movies, haunted houses, cemetaries, playing the ouija board (haha) & scaring my friends who didn't seem to care for the same things I did. Then I realized when I was 15 & in the 9th grade that I was going to embrace that part of my life & my fascination & wardrobe continued to grow, as it continues even now

I was always different. My mom had my sister tested for Dyslexia because I was doing things at her rate or faster, I was always drawing, molding stuff, just creating stuff in general, tomboy to an extent.... learned to read before I was in school, learned to sew around the same time. Never was much with friends, so an outcast from the beginning.... and it just kept getting stranger and stranger.

I was pretty normal until I was in my mid teens . I was pretty much a loaner, but I had friends. I just preferred to be alone most of the time drawing and reading.

Succubus wrote:

I was pretty normal until I was in my mid teens . I was pretty much a loaner, but I had friends. I just preferred to be alone most of the time drawing and reading.

Erm..........

Jen YOU ARE NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry but in what way are you not normal??????????????????

LOL.............Are you a secret Mosh Pit Goth Skater or whatever the kids are down with these days?

(I don't like people and I am obsessed with knives )

lol!!!!!

This is a reply to the subject and not a reply to Jens' post:

Please feel free to disagree;just my personal thoughts.

Personally I think that everyone is an individual and there is no such thing as "being different".

I think all teenagers get to a point where they "feel different" and join certain sub-cultures usually associated with a certain type of music.

I was a "headbanger" (heavymetal) and a punk at various stages of my childhood;I had a fling with a Goth Girl when Goth was being born;it is certainly tempting to think of oneself as different and join various subcultures to "fit in".

The reality though is that is what everybody does.

I believe that people either hide in the big crowd or hide in the sub-crowds but underneath we are all the same really.

Hmm....started when we first moved to TN. I was really shy and wound up going to a christian private school where all the girls had to where skirts and if it wasn't the bible, don't even try to read it. I hated skirts and always tried to get away with wearing pants and reading my mystery or ghost story books. that never worked out too well....but anyways, in middle school (it was public, thank God) was when I started to embrace the my darker side and wearing more black and stuff...I never really thought myself goth until someone called me it ( acctually, it was '"witch!" first..happens alot in maryville..)...I had a pretty sheltered life and all so I didn't really get into rock music until about 8th grade....that's also when I started to embrace my girly side of the darkness.....so ya.

Despite my earlier post I must admit most 19 year olds don't read Aleistair Crowley.

I learnt my first magic (majic) through him.

What was really scary is that some of it worked.

The universe is a very weird and wonderful place.

I was tired when I posted last night due to the time differential between America and England and reading it today I realise I have totally failed to convey what I meant to say.

All I meant is that each and everyone of us is special and different and that sub-cultures do not justify this fact.

In my view there is no particular right and wrong;no particular good or evil.
There is just GREY.

I won't justify myself because I don't have to just as none of you have to.

Reality itself is questionable as it is simply perception based.

There can never be such a thing as objectivity.

Lucy in the sky with diamonds;bela lugosi's dead.

Take your cultural pick and zone in but don't EVER become a part of it.

That was all I wished to say and I apologise if I ever offend by the expression of my personal views.

Thankyou for reading.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Everyone is into their own thing, so I wouldn't say I am living an abnormal life. There are many people in the world that share my interests. I new that I was interested in, let say "darker things", when my favorite tv show when I was little was the addams family and I made every barbie look like morticia. I also really loved Freddy Kruger when I was 7 and all things horror/Halloween related.

My first Halloween costumes I got pick were cat woman, then morticia addams. I kept the morticia dress until I grew out of it.

I also really liked cemeteries and rock music more than pop (except for the spice girls b/c they were cool).

Even when I was a little kid, I really LOVED witches. I wrote stories about them and also distinctly remember creating a character named Hannukah, an eleven year old werewolf with a distaste for human flesh. Also, I was obsessed with Chucky. Once, when my mom took me to the mall to buy new glasses, (I was notorious for breaking mine) I ran into Spencers and begged her to buy me a Chucky doll!

When I was about six or seven my favorite show was Invader Zim--I even drew a picture of him and his robot minion GIR in bible camp! And ever since my early years, I adored what I deemed the "Snow White" type of beauty: dark or red hair and pale, white skin.

^Aw, I would've killed to be the teenage babysitter to your young awesomeness.

Mine would probably have to be 0-10...
Idk, to be honest I just never really fit in with all the other kids.. They didn't really understand me and I didn't really understand them and it really bothered me... Haha, I also liked darker things at that time as well, although I was a lot more scared of them then I am now. 0.o.. But yeah, As I grew older I cared less and less about it and nowadays I have lost respect or should I say interest for most people anyways partially because they don't care about things as much as I think a decent person should or be open minded enough to try and understand things they honestly don't really understand.. I mean, I was always curious about things and questioned everything. I never really just liked accepting things... I always was more drawn toward the more unusual or misunderstood types of things though as pathetic as that may sound. >.< Idk, I just really liked to treasure the things that most people didn't take the time to care for or get into or just like I said before take the time to understand.. Because, I felt that everything has its purpose whether people know what it is or not and I still do. I don't really like the darker side of life out of angst or resent for other people like most others though. I like it because there's so much to discover with it and like to believe that not all things that live in the dark are evil or bad just merely lost or different. Most people that I take interest in though always just turn out to be broken and don't want to be fixed or are just filled with hate and anger.. Although, I sometimes find people or things that I can relate to and that does actually make me happy. (:

^Doesn't sound pathetic at all. Sounds pretty awesome, in fact. When your lifestyle choices are born out of who you really are and not pain and angst you're living right.

One thing that amuses me about all of this is that we were all probably told at some point that this goth thing was "just a phase" we were going through. I know that's what my family thought. Anyway, here I am, about to turn 28, and if it's a phase it looks like it's a phase that I'll be in for the rest of my life.

^^Agreed. Mind you I don't have the time to do my crazy makeup, and I really don't have the money to get new already made pretty "goth" clothes. And on top of it I don't have the time to make any. But if I did.... I would probably be wearing something very different then sweat pants and old navy tank tops. I can't wear my trip pants anymore because I've gained too much weight in my tummy and it hurts to wear them

deadcoldgothgirl wrote:

I can't wear my trip pants anymore because I've gained too much weight in my tummy and it hurts to wear them

Tripps are a rip off anyway, they took the style from us way back and we probably took it from the punks. All tripps are are normal pants with a few extra straps you can make them your self in about 10-15 minutes depending how many straps and/or chains you want to add just go do it old school...

^^endless is right. Accessorizing pants is extremely easy. You could even use fabric paint on them if you wanted to or cut open seams & pin/sew other fabric on the inside.