Rather confused about religion

Hey guys, I know I havent been around much lately, and I will be trying to fix this. Ive been in a bad place for the last.. well couple of years really. Anyway Ive been a christian my entire life, and about 3 years ago I made the move to fundamentalist. Yep, no sex before marriage, no drinking, drugs, and the church I started attending went as far as no dating, no tattoos, no piercings, etc etc etc. I have very strong opinions, so I kept up with my own convictions, continued with my love of tattooes, however as I got further and further involved I decided that I was also against dating, sex before marriage and all of that.

Im getting confused myself, so I wouldnt even know if anyone would be able to follow this.

Anyway in the past couple of months Ive sunk into a terrible funk, not even going to church. Trying to pull myself out of it has been difficult as I have very limited friends in the area, and those I do have are christians. However despite me not attending church, not contacting any of them, feeling very depressed and staying home all of the time, not venturing into the outside world noone has bothered contacting me. I went back to church, a couple of weeks ago, and realised in just one service I dont much like any of the christians there. In fact I dont like christians. I dont want to be associated with the biggest bunch of hypocrites I know, and even over the past few years the biggest thing Ive tried not to be (which is impossible, because I feel everyone is a hypocrite to some degree) is a hypocrite.

So while Im struggling with the whole christianity gig, my friend invites me to her 21st. I go despite not wanting to. And I had a ball. I truly enjoyed it, despite not drinking with anyone. But the topics of conversation all night were things like drinking, school days (and I was nothing at school if not a rebel) and all things that my pastor would cringe at.

Is it wrong to want to enjoy my life a bit? Now that Ive started typing this out Im not sure where its going but its very comforting to just spit this all out, as Ive been bottling it up. My main concern is having to form my own opinions of things again, which sounds silly as Im very strong willed and i never believe something on face value. Everything I believe I believe because Ive found it to be true.... which is part of why Im now struggling with the realisation that maybe its not. And if its not, then my views on things like evolution, global warming, and 2012.. well they are all shot to nothing as well.

I dont know what I want people to say.. I think I just need a hug, and a 'Its ok to feel conflicted, noone knows any better than you'

It *is* OK.

A crisis of faith is always painful, but it's healthy to question your beliefs. You are the one who decides what you believe, and at this time in your life, it's natural to question b/c you're sussing out your views as an individual. That is just as it should be.

There'll be changes in friends, changes in opinions. Anyone who doesn't stick by you, though, is just making room in your life for a good, true new friend. I know you're worried; trust, though, that it's just a spiritual and intellectual evolution.

You don't have to give up anything you don't want to give up, and ultimately you must be true to what makes most sense to you. ("Above all, this: To thine own self be true.") Approach with an open mind; the answers will come to you in time. Lean on your Divine Being of Choice, as long as it still works for you -- s/he will understand.

Oops, sorry, its not that Im deliberately avoiding christians. Its just that Im starting to find I dont like any of my christian friends. My pastor is the worst, he will sit there and say we neednt condemn people to fire and brimstone, BUT YOU WILL GO TO HELL IF YOU GET TATTOOS DRINK OR DO ANYTHING BAD.

And trust me, I will never be brainwashed. I am far too strong minded for that. I dont drink for my own reasons. I actually have no problem with it, morally etc. I just dont really like it. That said, I have a bottle of pink moscato sitting in the fridge chiling. I just dont get drunk I should say.

Thanks guys, people talking to me just helps me think it out.

I've met many people who have found themselves better off not going to a church. You're more likely to find the more spiritual aspects of a religion once you are out of group that wishes to control your thought.

And Hell No! it's not wrong to want to enjoy your life.

Lets see if I can actually say this without offending anyone, well anyone that matters that is...

First off NO, it is not wrong to enjoy life and anyone that tries to stop you from that for whatever "religious" reason obviously hasent read their own book. Theres wine all over the place and gatherings and all sorts of debauchery thats ok up to a point, even jesus was hanging out with the sinners and general dregs of society preaching love and peace like some kind of hippie. So yeah, I'm pretty sure the the J man would want you enjoying life.

secondly it sounds like this church and the choise to go fundamentalist wasn't exactly the best choise for you, it seems like they're doing more harm then good which is the opposite of what any religions supposed to be doing for its followers. I'd go look for something that fite your thoughts and beliefs a bit better and you can be happy with... Another thing, it really does sound culty, if not for what I'd just said if it were me I'd head out of there before they got on to trying to control my eating and sleeping

and lastly, questioning your beliefs isn't so bad, personaly I believe people should do that sevral times in their life and keep up on the things they really believe and change those they dont.




on a side note, "fundamentalist" have always seemed like an odd bunch to me. Here in the US in the deeeep south we have people that read a passage in the bible about people picking up venomous snakes and drinking poison and not being harmed and thats what they based their whole religion around. Thing is though there are people that have been bitten by these venomous snakes hundreds of times but they live and just say "the lord was with me" but doesn't the fact they were bitten even once go against the fundamentals of what they based it on? Anyway, I'm just saying that it seems to me "fundamentalist" pick and choose what to believe instead of the overall message and then they even change that bit to suit what they want...

Religion is a paradox in a our world which is driven first and foremost by scientific change, for the general human-morality which religion promotes is fine, don't kill another human or take something from another that doesn't belong to you. These are basic principles that predate all religion, don't threaten my life or touch my stuff, and religion has continued to support these social standards. However, religion has become passe to a great extent, and the teachings of these dated beliefs were not meant to convey life-practices to humans who have since walked on the moon, split the atom, invented elements, mapped the solar system, and used science to discover most of the truths to our planet's past. These religious books, fables, tales, characters in the stories; they've all evolved over the last 3000 years and become a true potpourri of religions of the ancient past, but they haven't evolved enough. As a modern person, it must be difficult to juggle what we are taught and know of the world, compared to what the premier religions teach.

Avoiding people of other religions, assuming an after-life of torture for transgressions, these are practices of people who lived in relatively small environments which were limited in their contact with people who are different. I can see that you'd want to actually avoid the people you share a religious bond with, being that they may want you to avoid people you share a social or personal bond with. I have no religion, and feel I can speak to and associate with whomever I please, and feel that it is unfortunate that certain people use their religion as a wall.

Also, I don't feel that anyone who lived and died a few 1000 years ago, has any business telling me what I can and can't eat, what I can and can't do as a consenting adult, what I can say, what I should do with my life. Religion teaching morals and comradery is fine, but inherent in religion is also a powerful feeling of entitlement and the idea that everyone is wrong and will either suffer or that you must pity them and force help upon them. These beliefs cause parents and people in positions of power, to instill in children at an early age racism, prejudice and a lacking of skills in social-conduct.

Be happy with yourself and your surroundings first, be a good person to the best of your ability second, and figure out where your religion fits into your life and your society third.

Sym

nsanelilmunky wrote:

First,

Second... Sym, that church sounds a bit brainwashing. Seriously. The Bible actually wants people to drink. Communion has wine, doesn't it? All the festivals in the Bible, they had alcohol, didn't they?

Most christian churches believe in abstaining from drinking. I haven't known any to use anything but grape juice for communion. Some do differ in opinion however as to what age and or commitment to God one should be of to participate.

And I don't think a great deal of them are of the opinion that those who are saved or seeking to be should socialize with those whose lifestyle would not be considered pleasing to God. That would be an act of acceptance unless they were witnessing to them. And I've heard it told only a chosen few should attempt this lest they be influenced into temptation.

All I can say, Sym, is that I applaud you for questioning your religion. You should question everything you do, most especially something you base your whole life and identity around. So many people don't do that. Keep asking questions, keep probing. Don't stop until you're satisfied with the logical answers that you come to.

I'm not a great person to encourage you to continue with your Christian path because I've found nothing but hatred, greed, hypocrisy, contempt and lies within that religion. I was born and raised Southern Baptist (in the states) and it ruined my life and even ruined my marriage (not our relationship, just the marriage itself). However, I know that everyone does follow a different path. Whatever you do, just keep asking the hard questions. I guarantee you will find the answers within yourself, not some man-made set of beliefs.