After the Rapture: Orlando man will deliver messages to those left behind

After the Rapture: Orlando man will deliver messages to those left behind

There are those who believe in the Rapture prophesied in the Bible. And there is Joshua Witter, avowed atheist.

They need each other.

At least some people think so -- those willing to pay Witter to be their post-apocalyptic postman, delivering cards and letters to their non-believing friends, relatives and neighbors who will be left behind when the Day of Reckoning arrives.

About 70 people have paid the Orlando man about $5 apiece to get their messages to those doomed to face the plagues, pestilence and darkness of Armageddon.

As sure as the True Believers are they will escape this earth when the Rapture arrives, Witter is just as certain he will be left behind to deliver their mail. He has committed blasphemy to make sure.

"Anyway you look at it, I'm screwed. It's too late for me," said Witter, a 24-year-old computer software engineer who wears long sideburns and hip black-framed glasses.

Witter started his website -- postrapturepost.com -- as a joke, a satiric jab at those who see things like the swine flu, economic collapse and the election of a liberal president as sure signs the end is near.

But then he started receiving orders for his merchandise. Since 2005, Witter said he has sold more than 200 items, most of them T-shirts and coffee mugs, and many of those (he admits) to friends and fellow atheists.

Among the best sellers are the line of I-Told-You-So cards, which sell for $8. Some of those who ordered the cards -- Witter suspects they are not true Christians -- are willing to pay extra to have them sent early as Christmas cards.

Witter doesn't have a stack of cards or letters with Post-Rapture messages in a dresser drawer or safety deposit box. All the messages are stored in his computers, encrypted to protect their privacy and backed up by a fail-safe system. His website might be all in jest, but when it comes to his paying customers, Witter is a responsible entrepreneur. He doesn't share the contents of the messages with his friends over beers or mock those who take this whole end-of-the-world business more seriously than he does.

He concedes that delivering on his promise to hand-deliver the cards and letters entrusted to him may be difficult. Witter has read all the books of the popular "Left Behind" series, so he knows what to expect. Covered with boils, he will have to fight his way through perpetual darkness, clouds of insects, and meteors falling from the sky to deliver the mail.

"Your hope lies with me. I am your mailman," he vows. "I'll do my best come Hell or high water to deliver those letters."

On the other hand, should the Rapture not arrive in his lifetime, he gets to keep the money, which he promises to use to subsidize his sinful lifestyle.

And don't even think about asking him to forward a message from the future for free.

"I turn people away who ask for free letters," he said. "I'm not a charity."

Good for him to get paid for that, I like entrepreneurs.

There was another guy who had some type of time limit on his computer, so if he doesn't log-in to deactivate it, it will send out this huge "The Rapture Has Happened and this is what you do" newsletter to all these people. He has to log-on to his site like every 18 hours or it will automatically send out all the emails. The guy was on The Colbert Report, and Stephen said he should change the Title of the massive email to "The Rapture Has Happened (or something really heavy has fallen on me)".

I'm all for religious belief and suspending your mind for faith or hope, but the belief that people will disappear and leave all the bad (and probably interesting people behind) is kinda silly. I said once I'd be all for the Rapture, and somebody I worked with said to me; "but you'll be left with all the rapists, murderers and child molesters on Earth". I replied that the only reason we don't get to drag those people out into the streets and beat them to death, is because all the people who will disappear and go to heaven, say it's not right to punish them too severely.

Spooky wrote:: I'm all for religious belief and suspending your mind for faith or hope, but the belief that people will disappear and leave all the bad (and probably interesting people behind) is kinda silly. I said once I'd be all for the Rapture, and somebody I worked with said to me; "but you'll be left with all the rapists, murderers and child molesters on Earth". I replied that the only reason we don't get to drag those people out into the streets and beat them to death, is because all the people who will disappear and go to heaven, say it's not right to punish them too severely.

Spooky you're my hero.

Spooky wrote:: "but you'll be left with all the rapists, murderers and child molesters on Earth". I replied that the only reason we don't get to drag those people out into the streets and beat them to death, is because all the people who will disappear and go to heaven, say it's not right to punish them too severely.

That's were all the fun is. The rapture happens, then the party can begin.

Spooky wrote:: I replied that the only reason we don't get to drag those people out into the streets and beat them to death, is because all the people who will disappear and go to heaven, say it's not right to punish them too severely.

So very true.

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