My Random Nonsense

Spooky wrote:

We spend so much time worrying about the future and trying the forget the past, that we miss the present as it's happening around us, rather then to us. I tried to move away from that mentality years ago, human nature pulls every now and then, but the now is always more enjoyable when your pay attention to it.

Wow. My daily life has been a lot of white noise lately, but this got through with clarity. I'm glad you said that.

I kind of paraphrased a few quotes of my own into that, glad it meant something.

I've been single for 17 months now, just realized that yesterday, which is by far the longest I've ever been without a significant other. Now granted I've had a good amount of fun being single, but I've already mentioned on here that I have my eye on a gal. Well now we're going to be working together soon, which I'm interested to find out if the separation in how we act when around people and by ourselves will grow into something perhaps a bit more meaningful.

She'll love you Spooks. I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you

Spooks, I too am enduring/enjoying my longest period of singleness ever, and I too dream of one far away but so close I could feel. I pray that yours comes to you, as I pray the same for me.

Thanks gals, I have my hopes.

Though I meet a girl at the bar last night, and had a surprisingly nice conversation with for about an hour and a half. She was pretty nice, cute of course, but nice in general. We exchanged numbers and she said she'd call me this week when she gets her schedule, so lets see what that's about.

The heart of course, belongs to that other girl. Damn that heart.

Good to keep your options open. Let that heart lead you; don't worry.

Interesting... before I was married, I wasn't ever unattached for more than a couple months. That probably wasn't healthy, but I went with the flow I guess. Now, though, if things ended between my husband and me, I think I'd remain single for a very long time. I guess if you love deeply, you kind of need time to detox once it ends. The time probably offers a chance to reflect, re-evaluate. And I think you only go back to love once it feels right, once the pull feels natural.

Few random tidbits:


Almost broke my disco stick, yep, torn muscles in that region is not fun at all.


Spooky has put a leash on that puppy for three weeks now.




Unrelated story is,
OK, so I went on a date, and as I waited at the bar of the bar/restaurant for the girl, I see her come in with another girl. So I'm a bit confused, but figure since I've known the first girl for some time, and that she brought an old pal of ours that just got back in the area; this dinner she set up was more of a friend thing. Then when the 2nd girl steps away to take a call from her family, the first girl tells me that she brought the second girl with her because she really likes me. Then I get to hear them vent to me about both their on-again-off-again boyfriends who both are wanting to break up with. We stop back at the 2nd girl's place to get changed before we go out to another stop, and both get changed in front of me, half-monty is the word I believe.

Not sure how to take this overload of thoughts, aside from dinner and show was great, and then we danced. I don't think though, that either I'm too interested in though now, because if they can't break up with stupid boyfriends, I'm not going to be the guy that takes them away from those boys. I have no desire in being the guy who has a girl step out of one relationship into one with me without missing a beat. No thank you.






Was supposed to have dinner with a girl I was talking too, but realized school was going to run very late, and had to call to reschedule. She answered her phone in that obscenely adorable and sexy "just woke up voice", so we only talked briefly because I didn't want to bother her rest. And she said in her sleepy stupor, "love you", and perhaps that more innocent meaning was lost in the voice.


It made me consider I've been single for 23 months now, I think once I get to the full two years, I can become a sponsor for the next person. Singles Anonymous, if I see a friend falling off the wagon into a relationship, I'm here to help them out. Just say no, and remember the steps!

I keeed I keeed

Spooky: about those two girls...

I know you know them, at least one of them, but... there are girls who play games with guys (botched, half-a$$ed games) just so they can go back to their friends and say, "we played games with this guy and you wouldn't believe what the dumba$$ did."

I know you're not stupid; you're definitely one of the more intelligent men I know. I'm just saying, if what they did looks like a confusing mess, it's because it was. This type of thing gives women a bad name, and women who aren't like that have choice words for women who are. I'm going to use a delicate one: "time-wasters."

Meh.. You're better than that. Hope you heal up well.

So I think I'm having my first fight with the main girl I've been into for the last two years, interesting however, is that she's not my girlfriend. Though she pulled the; "so much for claiming you love me" card, over something I found to be kind of trivial. How do get to pull that card on someone, when you're not together?

^^ I wouldn't look at it as a card so much as a misunderstanding. What she said indicates that she thinks she doesn't mean all that much to you. For some reason, she's disbelieving an apparent out-loud claim that you love her, or maybe she thought it meant more than you intended it to mean? Might need to clear things up with her.

Man, I am starting to really hate being single. Spooky, at least you got your eye on a lovely lady...but it kinda sounds complicated? I am sure you would not have any problem finding dates. It seems like you are always around pretty girls

I'm quite happy being single...

nsanelilmunky wrote:

Ginger_Snaps wrote:

I'm quite happy being single...

Really? I hate it with a passion.

I give props to SSRI's for diminishing my sexuality.

So what I was talking about before, about the first fight with She, I'm totally going to vent about it.


I went to a show, a show I mentioned in "recent concert thread", I was supposed to go to the show with about 8 people, two of them being the twins, one of whom I have pretty strong feelings for. I've talked a bit about Her here before. Well She considers a person in the band we were going to see as her "rock star boyfriend", whatever, I don't judge. Well they got stuck working and couldn't make it, so we hung out before the event at a bar they work at before going to the club they work at. Long story short, She told me "not to mention her" when I hang out with the bands, and I found that to be silly and trite. As if their opinion of Her are so delicate, that something I could say or do would make this guy stop liking her or suddenly think badly of her. Or, that I'm going to embarrass Her by making it known that I know Her, or that She's worried that her long distance "relationship" with him would be compromised by meeting Her hometown friends, or whatever the hell I am to Her.

So my decision was made, if the topic of people in the area came up, I was not going to refrain from mentioning that we had a mutual friend. Well the topic did come up, and that 45 second of he and I discussing how "work sucks" and we wish they could have made it, was just what I though it would have been: nothing important. About an hour later I was found by this guy at the bar, and he said to send a funny message to them, so we did in a photo of us with a little text message to Her. It was he and I shrugging with a message saying his words; "U Suck Leave work we miss you".

After a text fight between She and I for the following two hours, I received; "So much for claiming you love me...." Yeah 4 periods, that serious. Now I never wanted to upset Her in anyway, I like and care about Her on a lot of levels, and I feel terrible that I caused Her to be upset. But am I a total badguy here for thinking that I didn't need to keep our knowing each other a secret, and not follow Her sneaky directions of conduct to a 't'?

Then I find out through a mutual friend She was talking ill of me before this ever happened. I had asked a girl who works at the salon we all go to, if she wanted to grab some lunch, because she had an hour break and I was hungry. I meant it pretty innocently, I was just hungry. Well the girl I asked took it as me pursuing her, and happened to mention it to my "friend", who warned this other girl to avoid me because I'm a player. I never realized She thought so poorly of me. Granted I have had some fun this past year, it was my first year being single after 11 years of being in serious relationships: one 6 year, one 2 year, and one 1 year. I confided in Her about some of the fun I had, and I thought She understood I was just having a little fun for a period. I also thought She knew I cared about Her, being that She was one of the people I had a little fun with, and that I told Her I would stop talking to girls if I could be more serious with her. She was the one that acted like it was no big deal then, and we've conducted ourselves pretty casually aside from a few instances. But it turns out maybe She views me in a poor fashion, which confuses me about when we sit close, talk in private, and all that stuff.

Or is She telling that other girl to avoid me, to keep the other girl away from me? Is She keeping me on a short leash, but not letting me ever get close enough to Her? That's how the "love" card feels when the first time she openly acknowledges my feeling is to throw them in my face.

I don't know whether to feel bad or angry, but I'm leaning toward angry.

OK. I didn't understand before; now I do.

Maybe I'm just a linear thinker, or too dense to see through romantic innuendo, or just impatient with anyone who tries to d*ck me around. But if I were in your shoes, I would have to say "Game over; cards-on-the-table time." Time to talk with her, one on one and no bull.

Best to clearly work out whether the two of you will be a) exclusively with one another, b) friends with benefits/open relationship, c) one another's "dirty little secret" (I know where you stand on that, and I wouldn't want that role either) or d) acquaintances at best. It won't work if one of you is the other's secret, and the other wants more, or any combination of the above. It's got to be common ground, or it'll just be painful.

Also, if she doesn't know that you've been uncommitted by choice in order to take a break from past long-term relationships, it would be good if she knew that. Might give her more insight, illustrates that you're not a player but just taking a break from relationship drama.

I hope at least an understanding can come of this -- it does sound like this is becoming one misunderstanding on top of another, but it's kind of reaching a damaging point. I also hope she's willing to talk and clear the air. But above all, keep your own best interests in mind. Do what's right for you, and be prepared to walk away from a situation that's not right for you.

I don't mean to sound preachy or Mom-like in all this; just trying to help. Good luck, Spooky.

Spookster- I look forward to giving you a nice platonic hug when you come visit me.

If a girl doesn't want you to mention you know them to someone, there's a reason.

I don't trust anything about it one bit.

Red: I always value your input and insight, thanks.


Emma: Professional hugs will be given.


Mad: There is obviously an underlying motive, it's just confusing what direction it's moving.

Well, well, well


So the wacky tale of the girl in question and myself took some crazy turns as of late. I legit have seen her twice in four months, and she is not happy with me. I think a good portion of this is I hurt her feelings, I think those feelings are immature and silly, but they were her feelings and if they got hurt I can't tell her how to feel. I feel terrible about upsetting her, but that is no longer the issue now.

The bar and all the people in and around the place are exposing themselves for being a bunch of 30-year-old's who act like middle schoolers. The drama, the he-said-she-said stuff; its put a bad taste in my mouth. But when I returned from Texas, I was told by the bar-mama who lives upstairs from the place, that some girl told the sisters that I supposedly was bragging about them giving me lap dances and was and bad-mouthing them. Which is crazy on multiple levels, because:

a) I really like "N" and would never say anything to insult her or spread lies about her.

b) If I were to say some douchebag comments like that about her, I still wouldn't be stupid enough to tell someone who is friends with her and would tell her these things. I'm no jerk, but if I was, I'm not stupid.

c) Ever since this rift between us happened, a lot of people have had some nasty things to say about these two sisters. Other girls have made fun of their make-up, hair, shoes, or said; "they're not that cute, they're b'tches, yadayada". Guys who are supposedly their friends have been at parties or clubs around me, and they started calling them "whores" and "groupies" and saying all these distasteful things about them. AND I'm the one who steps up and defends these twins who think the absolute worst of me.


It's pretty frustrating to think that I've been their biggest cheerleader and defended and supported them when the regulars of their bar and club, and their "friends" all trash talk them. So I guess these same people are probably trash-talking me with them, spreading all these exaggerations and rumors, but I don't get why because I don't see the reward for these actions. I was so happy that the bouncer, the bar-mama, and a friend of the owner all saw right through the bullsh*t and knew I would never say or do anything negative to these girls I think the world of.

I'm guessing I'm venting about this now because I stopped in their bar the night when they work at a club, and the person working the bar had some smart comments to say, a group I was cool with didn't even acknowledge me, and some drunk lady said she'd buy my drink if I left right then... that's some real life sh*t right there. Finally mutual friends of myself and the sisters, saw this behavior and are mad about how people are acting like babies and believing flat out lies about me.

These twins have my #, so if they wanted to, they could have called me up anytime and asked; "have you been saying this or that about me?". And I could put it to rest, but the ease that everyone involved just believed a bunch of bs and fell in love with the lies, drama, and throwing me under the bus, makes me not want to put any effort into putting it to rest. Maybe I'm being spiteful, but I still look at it in the sense that the ball is in their court, and I'm not going to play this drama game til they come to me. If they want to believe the bs, then they can.


But even with all this crap happening, I'm pretty happy:


I'm going to be hanging out/going on a date with someone, which I can't mention right now because she's kinda famous in certain circles, these circles being people like ourselves who listen to the music we like. We'll be at a show together and a club the following night, but she told me I can spend the night at her room the second night when we're all just going to be hanging out going to clubs and casinos. Plus we're going to have lunch just the two of us, because the dinner will be with the big group later on that night before the club. It's nice, because I've been getting beaten up by women recently, aside from the coolness of my Texas gal-pal. This woman I'm going to be spending time with soon though, is smart, talented and pretty... thank god.

Spooky, you're right: the ball *is* in their court. Apart from the handful of people at the bar who truly know you, the rest of them just thrive off this artificial drama -- they'll believe whatever makes their twisted hearts feel better. Sad as hell, but not at all your problem. I know from experience it still hurts when people believe lies about you -- trouble is, even if/when people see irrefutable evidence, they'll still lie to *themselves* to keep believing whatever fantasy makes them feel important (even the "victim" fantasy). You're wise to cut your losses there. They might see their errors in time, but we're talking a LOT of time. Years, if at all. Not worth it.

As for the new woman you're meeting up with: excellent, hope it works out. I hope she's down-to-earth enough to be the antithesis to all the wannabe-celebrity drama you're leaving behind.

I agree with red. Unfortunately some people just can't get out of the gossipy high school faze of their life. If I were you I would just mention to the girls that this is total bs and you said nothing like that. But I would also mention that you have said what you needed to say and it is their choice to believe you or not.

I hope things work out well with this new date. You are a sweet person and you deserve to be happy.