My Random Nonsense

Well, I've been gone for quite a while, all kinds of busy with my art projects and some family drama, but I'm in a really good place right now. My uncle came home today from a month rehab in Florida, so he's tan, sober and a healthy 15 lbs heavier then last time I saw him. So he's ready to get all the issues surrounding his upcoming divorce finished with a clear head, and his son and I took him to the gym we go to as a guest. My new diet and routine has me ten pounds lighter but bigger and stronger than I've ever been.

And I've gone out on a few dates recently, and my unmentionable date and I have had a really nice time as of late. Nothing too serious, but it's fun to just go out and not have a care in the world or any reservations at all. Perhaps some day soon I can actually mention her name on here, but she asked me to keep things kinda quiet. She meant social sites which I don't have accounts for really, but we're just really cool right now.

Sounds really good overall. I'm glad to hear it -- glad you're doing well, and that your uncle is healthier, and that you're in a relationship that just feels good.

I think that you & she are off to the right start. My husband and I got together kind of in response to our heavy-drama recently-ended relationships -- we just wanted to enjoy each other's company, and it was liberating to not worry about what would happen next.

Spooky wrote:

My new diet and routine has me ten pounds lighter but bigger and stronger than I've ever been.

I'd be interested in hearing what has been working for you in this regard.

Madelchai wrote:

Spooky wrote:

My new diet and routine has me ten pounds lighter but bigger and stronger than I've ever been.

I'd be interested in hearing what has been working for you in this regard.

Most importantly, your diet has to be strict, once I tightened up the belt on it, the results came quick. I don't drink soda or coffee, and actually cut back on the alcohol to maybe one night out heavy every other week, but food is your biggest concern. No carbs for dinner is what I look for the most. I try to have my carbs; breads (wheat or rye), pastas and rice at breakfast or lunch. You burn it of as energy throughout the day, when you eat carbs at night it turns right to stored energy: fat.


Breakfast has mainly been having either oatmeal or eggs. Nothing too heavy, but enough to start my day, then I usually go the the gym between 9-11 in the morning. When I get home from the gym I'll have a protein shake before showering up, then I'll eat lunch.

Lunch is usually my biggest meal, or if I have plenty of time I'll separate lunch into two smaller meals spaced out by 2-to-3 hours. If it's one big meal I'll have a big plate of pasta, chicken & rice; if it's two smaller meals I'll mix it up with salads, tuna-fish, pb&j, wraps, etc.

Dinner is usually meat and veggies. Once a week I give myself a cheat day, usually a weekend, where my dinner can have carbs. If I want to snack, I try to eat cashews, apples, peanuts and grapes. If I get a random sweet-tooth I have an ice-pop which is really low in fat and sugar.

Right now since I have no school, this schedule is really working for me, but once school starts in a month I'll have to change up to accommodate getting to the gym without it affecting my studies. I go 5 days a week to gym, sometimes 6, and my cousin and I change up our routine every other week so we don't suffer from any muscle memory. Cardio & abs at least three times a week, get a mile in at least and some form or abdominal workout. Sometimes the cardio/ab day is like a day off for us, we're at the gym for only 40 minutes and there's no lifting.


Aside from the weight lost, I've added 50lbs to my max bench press and 95lbs to my squat. The fact I can bench press 255 is still a bit unreal to me, but getting strict with the diet and routine works.

^^ Excellent plan, especially the diet plan. As strict as it might sound, it's sensible -- it doesn't leave you hungry or let your energy dip.

Yeah that's about right on track with everything else I've heard. Great.

Thanks for sharing.

I know I usually put my random rants and venting in this thread when it pertains to relationships, well, this should meet that criteria. In three years I've buried 5 people under the age of 30, all of whom I've known for so very long. My uncle visited me, for he and his son were worried that I'd relapse of do something stupid in my despair. I didn't take it as them thinking I was weak, simply concerned.

The bar which I have refrained from going to since all the rumors and drama occurred, played host for a gathering of the friends and family of Jason Sica. I hugged one of the sisters who believed those nasty rumors, and she said she or her sister weren't mad. That I should just talk with her sis because she doesn't want me to avoid them. It was a nice gesture, including the triple shot of tequila she poured for us both.

Well, the Tuesday Jay passed, over 80 people showed up to that hole-in-the-wall bar, and being that the funeral parlor happened to be a block away, we used the bar as a meeting place and to celebrate our friend between and after the viewing services. After the last night viewing, an even larger crowd gathered and his mother thanked us all for showing her how much her son meant to us all. I thanked her for putting up some of the photos I had of Jason into the collage, and also thanked her for letting us have the son she raised as a friend. There was this great moment where a group of about 7 of us cheered and I said "Lurch", and then our friends Kevin and Kate said "Lurch" with me, and we just let the nickname of Jay grow louder. Well everybody in the bar followed suit, and over 100 people packed into a little bar just screamed "Lurch" like a war cry, holding it for 20-30 seconds with our glasses in the air. I'm getting chills right now just thinking about how damn epic that was, collectively everyone just released our sadness with that scream and the next few hours that followed was just a celebration of his life.

My friend Kevin who went to Texas with me said; "we're too young to only gather the extent of our friends during weddings and funerals." Granted the group is over 100 people easy, probably close to 150, but we're looking to organize big gatherings once or twice a year. A day or two where everybody puts the kids, families, jobs, schools, and bullsh*t aside to get together solely in good times.

I slept about 5 hours collectively over the last four day, mainly just cuddling with a few friends, it would have been the life of kings if me and the three girls the one night did anything, but really we were just hanging on from breaking down completely. Last night after the burial I went home, had a dinner with three of my friends who car-pooled to the burial, then watched a bit of tv and fell asleep around 8:00. Woke up this morning at 8:00 pretty rested, so I think I'm gonna start work on my next sculpture.

Below is our eulogy, cheers Jay.

That sounds really beautiful. I know it's bittersweet to have a good experience rooted in such pain, but I think sometimes it's that contrast that makes each a little more poignant.

I especially loved hearing about that collective call-out to your friend. Losing a number of people who are close to you does make you feel like bits of your world are falling away -- I lost a number of loved ones to various forms of cancer when I was in college, and that's what started my eulogy collages. It's good that you and your friends are leaning on each other, and I think you've all got the right idea about getting together just for the sake of getting together. My friends and I have also been commenting that we only see each other at weddings; everyone gets wrapped up in jobs and kids and all; we don't have reunions just for the hell of it anymore. But you and your friends are wise to get together when you can, just to remind each other how important you are to one another.

The eulogy is beautiful and right-on. Take care, Spooky -- treat yourself well, and feel the emotions you need to feel. But don't feel lonely, because your friends (even the ones you've never met face to face) are not too far away.

RedAngel wrote:

The eulogy is beautiful and right-on. Take care, Spooky -- treat yourself well, and feel the emotions you need to feel. But don't feel lonely, because your friends (even the ones you've never met face to face) are not too far away.

Thanks Red, I've been good so far, just keeping busy and focused on my work. And one day in my ridiculous travels, I'm sure we'll share a drink and a highfive or two.

If you find yourself in NC... you're probably on your way somewhere more interesting. But on that off chance, or if I'm up North with a little free time, a crossing of paths would be great.

My birthday and my friends birthday were on the day last month, so the following Saturday we had a nice gathering at a bar, shut the place down to watch a UFC PPV and have food ordered in. Good times.

Went on a few dates with some girls I met at school and one I've known for about 2 years now from the scene here, the girls at school are young though, and as nice as they are and good as they look, dating someone much younger then me is a questionable decision in my opinion.

I also patched pretty much everything up with the gal, saw her and her sister at the club they work at the night before Thanksgiving when a big group of us went out. We talked, had some shots, and I everything seems very well put to rest.

So....

haven't posted in this thread in a while.

Anywho, There's a young lady I've known for a few years that I'd like to see more of, and she has made it very clear she wants to see more of me again. Our schedules suck though, my night work and school in Jersey, her night work and living in New York make it nearly impossible for me to go up there to see her, which sucks.

Other than that, things are ok in the nonsense department. I still spend time with women who don't want anything serious just fun, and the gal I'd like to be serious with doesn't. Same boat, just further out to sea.

That gal I kinda like the most, we had a lunch together the other week after I had my hair redyed and cut, it was like a hair showing since her's was freshly done as she had gone to Europe the weekend prior. We spent nearly 3 hours just talking while drinking wine and having soup and salad, it was excessively chill, and I think maybe she's slowly (super slowly) realizing that we can chill away from her jobs. No strings attached or devious plots to woo her on my part, my feelings are apparent, but I'm not being pushy, simply interested in seeing her on a slightly more personal level (like not as a patron).

^^ Hair showing. lol This sounds really good -- she'll look back on this lunch as a good time, and that's the kind of view that'll make her want to spend more time with you, I think. When you don't go into a get-together with expectations, good things usually come of it (at least that's how it's been with me). The 3 hrs talking is a positive sign.

Getting all nostalgic now for when G and I first got together -- we were both worn out from emotionally-draining bad relationships, and just wanted to have a good time.

It was nice to just have no distractions, and I hope it leads to us getting together more often without any expectations as well.

I've become to come to terms that fact that being single for 6 years now, has been both liberating and taxing at the same time. Though I believe I'm starting to feel a bit of loneliness, not that I don't have a social life or people to spend some more personal time with, but I do believe there is a lonely quality now to my life. Granted, with my work and school schedule, a relationship would be doomed unless that person is really cool with not getting to see their boyfriend that often. I've been seeing the gal I wrote about above still, though there may be this kind of confusing bond growing with myself and her sister, which some people in my family and friends are in full support of.

Oh boy.

Spooky, your personal life makes mine look even more pitiful.  

I've never spent that long single, but I have a lot of regrets. I spent 2 years with a man I never meant to be with just because he threatened suicide every time I tried to leave (I was with him back in the GB days... flashback!). One way or another, there are worse things than being single, and that's being in a relationship with no love. I know that you've heard that sh*t before and that it doesn't help, but you're a good man with a good brain behind that pretty face. You have what it takes to be loved, and you will be. A crowded schedule may make it hard to meet someone, but a good woman can endure a crowded schedule. I did when I dated a guy in med school, and for 35 years my mom has been with a blue-collar guy who works 10 hour days and comes home exhausted every night. Being hard-working and sincere actually just makes you all the more endearing. I sincerely wish you the best.

Munky, don't be silly, pitiful is a strong word. When school is done, and I go on my wacky trips, I need to visit some of the fine folks on here. We'll paint it red.

Emma, that made me all kinds of gosh reading your post, thanks.


Current nonsense, I had a stupid amazing weekend. Book Of Mormon was fantastic, and we turned some places inside out. It was great to be out with three of my favorite ladies, though I was on stumble-fall-heels duty at 4:00 am walking to the train. My "I won't let you fall" talk started out as friendship, and turned all lovey though, cause it came to represent how much I love my gals.

^That's wonderful. I'm glad to hear it.

I believe talking about my current issues of feeling a bity empty and lonely, simply completing all these tasks I have in my life without really feeling a sense of joy in doing so has kind of helped.  Yay, talking about it did help, and in doing so has helped build my connection and friendship with a few very special people in my life.  I guess they figured I'm usually very positive, but I'm that way in an attempt to force myself into a happier place; but in retrospect I've sort of forgotten when there was a time when I was actually happy rather than acting happy in the face of my lament. That amazing night out in NYC at the Book of Mormon really set the standard for who I was with and how I felt, since I had to realize that was honest happiness I was feeling rather than having a few hours of time away from my unhappiness, which is the unfortunate norm.  Admitting this to certain people I'm close with was kind of rough, and I really feel that it left me a bit vulnerable, but it  invited them to speak honestly with me as well.  I had a wacky day on Tuesday, but it resulted in a really important conversation with someone a care a lot about, over quite a few drinks in a few fun little bars.

It's strange, that we all know talking about what's bothering you makes you feel better.  You can recall the weight which feels alleviated from you when you do; yet we always hold back our words and feelings instead of just speaking up and feeling better.  Silly humans.

Spooky, I tagged you to do this on facebook. If so, I demand pictures.

http://9gag.com/gag/a3YEXzv?ref=fb.s

Ha, munky, that looks fun, I'm like 2 people away from getting control of my Facebook btw, so whoot.

Serious talk though,
The girl I adore has surgery next week, and we're all worried, but we got a doctor whose going to make sure she lives all kinds of a long time without any potentially dangerous nonsense in her. So I made her a microphone reliquary to put good luck charms in the day of the surgery for my jewelry/metals class. So I can be a great boy, and a good student all in one; multitasking.